If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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