just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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