I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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