i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It all started with a game of naked twister.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
