its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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