What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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