He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize