I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
