Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
