Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize