And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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