I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
