dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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