If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
