We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
