coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
