found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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