oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize