you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
