sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
