Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
