He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
