He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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