Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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