You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
