I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
love makes seman taste better
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
