i jhust puked up my retainher.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize