the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm bleeding and have questions
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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