google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
