KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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