what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
