your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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