I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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