Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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