apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
