I just gift wrapped bread.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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