lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
