oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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