got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
