Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize