yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
