hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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