I'm going to jail i love you
You can't motorboat a personality
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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