I wannas sexs uuuuu
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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