She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
