i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
They have beer where we have blood.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
