Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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