If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
