Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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