Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
