ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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