I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize