And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
