i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
