she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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