Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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