I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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