just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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