"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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