someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
