she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
