covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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