you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
