I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
