Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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